How to Be Grateful Amongst Darkness
Practicing gratitude without toxic positivity.
I have an alarm on my phone that tells me to be grateful. Some days the tinkling of the alarm feels like toxic positivity, but most days it does its job of being a simple reminder to recognize tiny joys in my life. Sometimes I write down what I’m grateful for, other days I simply say the words out loud.
I make myself say or write just three things. Most of the times it’s easy: I’m grateful for my husband for always making my tea extra lemony. I’m grateful for my dog for being my constant companion. I’m grateful for books and authors that have the courage to write and tell stories that transport us.
Other days it’s hard. Lately in America, it can seem like the end of life and democracy as we know it. And maybe it is. That’s what they don’t tell you about end: it’s happened before, it’ll probably happen again and you still have to live your life during it all. You still have to wash your hair and clean your clothes and feed the burden of your body, like so many that came before us.
Our brains want to focus on the negative. We’re wired that way. It kept our caveman bodies safe, but we were never meant for this much negative information all at once. I’m grateful to know about the horrors happening in Gaza, and the Wisconsin judge that was arrested by the FBI, and that the Great Barrier Reef just experienced its worst summer on record.
I’m also grateful for the clematis blooming on my fence, a new pair of sunglasses with no scratches, and the warm peanut butter sandwich I ate for lunch. I’m grateful for technology for allowing me to be aware protests (here’s one happening tomorrow) and I’m grateful that I can go home to decompress after. We can hold these dichotomies at once.
A gratitude practice shouldn’t be limited to the Instagram life coaches and the wellness gurus. Gratitude isn’t toxic positivity or sticking your head in the sand. Gratitude gives us a reason to change, a reason to fight. And if it doesn’t work, I’ll be in the bunker watching the end of the world, thankful for my family, friends and canned beans.
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Do you have a gratitude practice? If so, I want to hear about it in the comments. 👇
I practice gratitude every morning. It's one of the first things I do each day - write down what I'm grateful for in my journal. Often before coffee, always before I open my phone and while some days it's hard, I can always find something. I especially enjoy the little things like being able to hear the birds sing or the swoosh of my a/c turning on.
I practice gratitude every night when I do my journaling. I find there are many things to be sincerely grateful for, even when I have had a difficult day. Little things (but big to me) like libraries and good books, good food, etc.